PSA

Summer is upon us, y'all.  

Oh yes, it has arrived and I'll spend the next 5 months looking at pictures of Alaska and Antarctica wishing to be there. 

I can always tell this by the fact that I feel I need another shower after blow-drying my hair and getting ready for the day.  

I can also tell it by the fact that a sense of indecency descends on the gen pop with regards to their hygiene and dress code.

The following list is how everything - in a perfect world - would be:

1.  If you are going to wear sandals, flip flops, peep toe shoes, or you're going to go barefoot outside of the confines of your home then please, PLEASE, for the love of all that is good and holy, get yourself a pedicure or at least trim your toenails.  This goes for the guys, too.  If your toenail looks like it could be a weapon confiscated by the TSA, then that is a problem and one that needs not be ignored just as I choose to ignore my problematic obsession with magazine subscriptions.

2.  Just because it buttons/snaps/zips/fits over your head doesn't mean it's appropriate or that it looks good.  

3.  If you require assistance to remove it, you should've never put it on.

4.  Socks with sandals are always a NO.  Like, I don't even understand wearing them together.  It's like putting a bathing suit on over your clothes.  If you want to wear sandals, remove the socks.  If wearing socks is going to make your heart sing that day, then pick a different piece of footwear. 

5. If you own anything that has text on the butt, it must go.  In the trash can.  In 2004.


This has been your Summer PSA.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled life.

The Last Single One

I am single.

I'm sure you gathered that by the title of this blog.  At least I hope you did or else I don't have high hopes for your understanding of anything else you might read here.

I'll start by introducing myself.

I'm Whitney.

As I'm typing this I'm 30 years old.  I've been 30 for a whole half a year now, so I'm at the point where only one or two tears run down my face when I speak about my age.  

I kid.  I don't actually have a problem with my age.  Unless you count the fact that by society's norm I should be married with at least 2.5 children. I should also have a house, a fence, and some sort of large, golden-haired dog.  

I don't have any of those things.

I do have a dog, and while she isn't golden haired, she is a black pug and she's pretty much the greatest dog you'll ever meet.  She has a problem keeping her tongue in her mouth and she's loud at the most inopportune times, so she's kind of like a baby.  Closest thing I have anyway.

Some things you should know about me:

• I love Ferris wheels.  Like irrationally love them.
• My favorite television show is Andy Griffith.
• I love juice and tomato basil soup.
• I have seen every episode of FRIENDS probably 20 times and I still laugh at each episode like it's the first time I've watched it.
• I don't like talking on the phone....if you call me and I answer, that means I have the highest form of love for you that one human can have for another.
• I love to rearrange furniture, holiday parties are my love language, and I have an obsession with magazine subscriptions.

The most important thing you should know about me is that I love Jesus. This means that everything I do, I do for His glory.  What this does NOT mean is that I think I'm perfect, that I'm judgmental, or that I hate you if you have a different opinion or belief than I.

All my life, all I've ever wanted to be is a wife and mother.  Other professions would come and go as I was growing up - there was the time I wanted to be an OBGYN (now I just want to be Dr. Addison Forbes-Montgomery).  There was also the time I wanted to be a "professional driver on a closed course" like you see in car commercials.  I had the standard-for-every-little-girl "ballerina phase". 

I am none of these things, although sometimes while I windy roads I still pretend I'm in a commercial. Except I drive a Buick Rendezvous instead of some hot sports car.  I like to think I represent the grandpas everywhere in my Buick.

Anyway, all of my friends are married.  I do have a couple that aren't, but "All of My Friends Are Married Except for a Couple" isn't really super catchy for a blog title.  

Someone once told me that one should find the humor in everyday life.  I have found that to be an excellent piece of advice and so this is where I'll document all my found humor.  I'll blog about my life, my relationships, things I think about, and occasionally a tip or two that I've found to be helpful navigating the single road that is sometimes very long and lonely.

I hope if you're reading this you'll stick around!